Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol

Their mission which they chose to except was to somehow put Ethan hunt back in the field and make him run around to punch and shoot more terroristy people in the face….

The result is not bad actually, Tom cruise on good form even if he is starting to look ‘too old for this shit’, Simon Pegg is back again and is probably the most likeable character in it, Jeremy Renner as an analyst with hidden past (that’s not a spoiler btw it’s in the trailer) and Paula Patton who is the eye candy but thankfully she doesn’t do the damsel in distress routine (she does need to change her name though because Paula Patton is not a sexy enough, maybe something Spanish… Isabella Fuentes possibly), no fault with any of their performances.

Now the real problem I had with this film, the plot, it’s the usual WMD, mass murder, war provoking sort of thing, only this time there’s not IMF to back up Ethan and his team since they were framed and the IMF has been disavowed so it’s up to them to sort it out. Sounds pretty good so far and it has to be said that the lack of back up does add something to the film as well as providing a few laughs. My problem lies with the characters and the back story, Ethan hunt all of a sudden has a heart and we’re meant to care about him, not the woman he’s trying to save but we are meant to care about his emotions and heartache which to me just doesn’t fit and it’s trying to add in this 3rd dimension that just seemed a bit pointless and almost pandering, maybe to make it less of a guy film, either way it seemed a bit late in the franchise to change the character to such an extent.

So on to the verdict, I know this is a fairly short review for such a big film but it’s not an easy one to pass judgement on, I can say that this is a good film (mind blowing stuff right) with some really incredible action sequences and amazing locations along the way, the locations being so far apart does make it feel a bit jumpy almost like on the first day of writing someone wrote an equation on the board, big film + big locations = big money, they really do earn some major air miles. Another problem is the length of the film; it starts to drag towards the end almost to the point of boredom.

My final word is that this instalment is a solid 3 star film punctuated with 4 star moments so it has to settle on 3 stars or 3 Danny Glover’s in this case (cos you know in the next film Cruise may have to admit it).







Oh and here’s the trailer:

Sherlock Holmes: A Game Of Shadows

A game of shadowy bro(lmes)mance that has been Jude Lawfully approved. (The law of jude states that an on-screen bromance can only exist if there is a hint/shadow of homosexuality occurring through the film. It Also states that this should under no circumstances lead into anything other than bromance unless the film was in actual fact the sequel to Brokeback Mountain.)

Most of the time with these reviews I’ll tell you about the story and then go into massive rants on both the good points and the bad. But with this new Sherlock Holmes movie I couldn’t care less about what really happened in it as long as it was entertaining and made me laugh. Thanks to superb casting and witty one-liners it certainly lived up to it’s expectations. Of course now Sherlock is facing his evil arch nemesis Moriaty, played by a twisted and psychopathic Jared Harris, it makes for a more darker film (don’t worry though, this part is my good point rant). Most other franchises have made the 2cnd film with a more sinister feel to it and prevailed. Case In point: Star wars: Episode V. However I seem to be writing too much about star wars lately so The Dark Knight perhaps? Godfather pt 2 maybe? … oh it’s quite obviously Shrek 2! Where puss in boot’s catnip drug running puts a sinister vibe over the whole film. Man that Cat has problems.

Anyway … So evidently the cast is brilliant. With Downey Jr, Law and Harris but Stephen Fry as Mycroft steals every scene he’s in and made me laugh throughout. There is a great scene with him, watson’s wife(Kelly Reilly) and his servants where he is naked whilst decoding a message from his brother Sherlock … STEPHEN FRY … NAKED … ROTFLMAO!!! There also many good scenes with Holmes and Watson including one with a shetland pony. Yet There are a few bad scenes too and just because a cast is great doesn’t make the movie great if there are other things at fault with it.

And now ladies and gentleman let the Bad point rant (Mortal Kombat) commence

The Slow motion was just too superfluous at times especially when they are getting shot at in a forest. Every detail of a rifle firing was shot as if Zach Snyder was the one firing the gun. Every time a bullet whizzed past it was slowed down time and again reducing me to slow-mo boredom, thanks Guy Ritchie! I like slow motion but not when it’s used in every action scene and especially not when the movie drags on for a little more than 2hrs. The female characters in this story simply didn’t do anything in it as well. Rachel Mcadams had the briefest part since Steven Seagal died in the first 10 minutes of Executive Decision. Even though that improved the movie because of Seagals absence it didn’t improve Sherlock Holmes due to McAdams’ quick appearance. Apart From Noomi Rapace throwing some knives around their involvement was pretty low key to say the least.

Even so the downey jr/Law marriage is back and with a fantastic ending to boot that says bring on the 3rd instalment!

Maybe they should have Steven Seagal in it so he can die in the first second this time(10 minutes just seems too long). Seriously how did he get cast in films? He’d be better off as a character on the game Mortal Kombat where Chuck Norris would constantly kill him.

I bet I could finish sentence before Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks me in th ………………………

Sherlock Holmes gets four Stephen Frys and a Steven Seagal. 3 1/2 stars out of 5 in other words.

P.S The Brokeback Mountain link is harmless. Unless you really don’t like laughing at Merchant, Gervais and Pilkington with gay sex noises in the background. Ok now I’ve made the link even dodgier … maybe I should get off the caffeine … or the catnip that a certain Señor Boots was providing.

The Thing

It’s not human. Yet.

Look I know this came out in cinemas on the 2cnd of this month but here at Tripodfilm we strive to give you the best reviews no matter how late it is. Plus it helps me when I can look at other reviews and copy most of it for my own personal fame and glory! Muahahahahahaha! However copying is wrong and I insure you that everything written in this blog is 100% original. With a few inspirations here and there.

OMG! They’re in Antarctica and they found a big alien spaceship and there was like a frozen alien but then it wasn’t frozen and like started eating people and then turning into them so no-one can know who’s who anymore! OMG!!! I can’t believe no-one has thought of this before …


Maybe I’m being a bit harsh. Yes there was an original The Thing (that was directed by the legend that is John carpenter, starred Kurt Russel and was far superior to this movie), but in many ways Hollywood excuse of “it’s okay, it’s just a prequel” doesn’t really ring as true of the time when I saw Star Wars: Episode 1 – The Phantom menace. Man did I have sleepless nights uttering the same excuse that it was indeed just a prequel and in no way could be compared to the awesomeness that is the original trilogy. Yet as a “prequel” The Thing (That was directed by some Dutch guy, stars Ramona Flowers and tells a funny joke in Norwegian about a kid going at it with his grandma) does it’s job quite well all things considered. Some parts of the movie were quite gripping and at the end I didn’t mind that I had paid to see it as it was in some parts enjoyable. Of course I am on a deal with the cinema that means I only have to pay half price and yet for some reason I still didn’t mind.

I’m not saying this is a good film though. The main criticism I have with it is the fact that a lot of the characters aren’t given enough back story or lines for that matter for me to even give a damn about them when they meet their inevitable demise. Some of them might as well have just announced that they were the thing just so we could all have saved a little bit of time in our lives. They even throw in a random guy with a crappy British accent half way through the film saying that they should “bloody” leave even though everyone has been saying that since the thing got loose “mate”. It’s almost like what a 3D film would do in the middle of the movie. Subtlety hinting at the audience that it’s in 3D by poking a large spear directly towards the camera thus ruining what was probably a good film because of the cheap gimmick laid in front of you. Well this “british” guy was the same cheap gimmick but this time he’s basically there to make people think that he could be the thing. Hmmmm he’s the only british guy in the whole camp? well … HE MUST BE THE THING. There was one character, Lars, that was bad ass and deserved a little bit more than just ogling Mary Elizabeth Winstead throughout most of it. Although who would blame him! However the CGI was also extremely poor and was actually bettered by the effects used in the original. Hey, it damn well scared the bejesus out of me when I first watched it.

All in all this film is a solid rental that should only be watched if you want to watch the 82 version straight after. Indecently it does tie itself in with the original extremely well in the end. Using Ennio Morricone’s score to a terrifying effect as it cuts in with the credits to the point where the first film began.

The Thing gets two Facepalms (two stars) out of five

On a side note I’d just like to say … Hollywood stop remaking films. It shows no creativity that you have to scrape the bottom of the barrel like this and money only seems to be the keyword with film nowadays. Here’s a list of films that are upcoming remakes so you can also facepalm in disgust:

  • Scarface
  • Akira
  • The Seven Samurai
  • Raging Bull 2 (Okay it’s a sequel/prequel but WTF!?)
  • Total Recall
  • The Evil Dead (without Bruce Campbell)
  • The Birds
  • Godzilla (again)
  • Escape From New York
  • The Crow
  • Oldboy
  • Flash Gordon
  • Scanners
  • Carrie
  • Don’t Look Now
  • All Quiet On The Western Front

Just Stop Hollywood … Stop.


Does Moneyball Strike Out? (bad baseball pun out of the way)

So Moneyball, sounds like a Jerry Maguire remake or the next Wall Street instalment? Thankfully not, as both would be a huge mistake (seriously don’t). It is in fact a film with Brad Pitt and Jonah Hill that’s based on a true story about a baseball team, the Oakland A’s, and their attempt to change the way the game is played.

This being a sports film means that the Oakland A’s are a low budget team, where all there players get drafted to major teams, leaving the A’s at the bottom of the food chain. However I would not consider this the conventional sports film, it focuses on more behind the scenes than on the field with Pitt as Billy Beane managing his team with the help of Peter Blake (Jonah Hill). Plus you would normally have the coach or manager in this case forming a bond with his team and making them believe in themselves the way he does (touching stuff,right?). Not the case here with Billy Beane’s belief and faith being in the statistics and method provided by Peter Blake, leaving the players to be traded or cut without you caring for them too much.

Brad Pitt is on top form, bringing a complex character to life from the confident minimal banter on the phone to the moments of insecurity from his own baseball career. All the while his job and team are on the edge and he ends up constantly having to convince his daughter that everything is fine. Jonah hill in an unusual more serious turn for him, does very well as the geek behind it all in a place where no one thinks he belongs. That’s really it for main roles but giving amazing support are the cranky old men in the board room, the players, his daughter and Phillip Seymour hoffman as the coach.

Now just a warning this film is long, far too long, well about 20 or 30 mins too long with the pay off feel good factor, underdogs triumphing moment coming well before the credits. And how things change in that last half hour, killing the feel good factor off and leaving an ending which begged the question, what’s was point?

So the verdict… Interesting idea, well executed and performances with out fault, should be good right? Unfortunately it’s pretty average, where a film like this needs heart, it is incredibly lacking, a manager with no faith or belief in the players and using them for his own gain, sure it works but it’s morally questionable in the least which is more an issue with the plot than anything but it leaves a bitter taste, which looking back on it is the only thing that has left a lasting impression.

I Give it 3 out of 5 baseballs


It takes a pair to beat the odds

Hooray I’m back reviewing films again! Well it has been a while since I have reviewed anything and that’s mostly got something to do with a game called Skyrim. It is an epic game and I would recommend anybody that likes games and has two weeks to spare to buy it. But if you weren’t here for the 50/50 review than you’d probably be playing the game right now or taking my advice and buying the game right now. Either way I may have just got your attention long enough for you to read this first paragraph. Hooray indeed!

A Comedy about Cancer? okay first impressions aren’t so great as cancer isn’t something to laugh about. But with the guy from 3rd Rock from the Sun and the other guy from undeclared(wait they were both in films before this!? oh well these obscure TV references will have to do) It does actually make for a surprisingly good film. The start of the film is actually quite upbeat and funny even when he discovers he has a cancer that has a 50% survival rate (*hic* dat’s why they gone and done named it dat 50/50 movie *hic*). However this film as predicted does get really serious in parts which is obviously needed in a film like this and doesn’t feel overdone as you do care for joseph gordon levitt’s character. So much in fact that when I saw it with my two of my mates I was at the breaking point of crying. It’s not like I’m with a girl and I’m showing her a more sensitive side to myself. Instead I’m with the tripod(yes me and my two friends call ourselves that) and I’m just hoping that I’m as awesome as Chuck Norris so if I was to cry … than it might just cure his cancer. Don’t worry though I actually didn’t cry ….


okay more awesome thoughts … Die Hard, Lethal weapon and Beverly hills cop. And I’m back.

So Even though the two main characters are what make this film stand on it’s own two feet. There are also some really great side characters that give it that much needed third foot (TRIPOD!!! OH YEAH!!!). For instance the two old guys that he gets his chemo with are really funny and should have had bigger parts. And his Therapist is amazing in it as well but that could be because she screams hotness! Yet not all of the film is this amazing. His parents and girlfriend are characters that probably had to be included to make the story as a whole work but I just sort of got bored whenever they were on the screen. Plus it can be slow in some places and it’s not like I’m going to see it again anytime soon cause it is about cancer and that can make me really depressed :(!

Also I’d just like to mention the music from the film is a great mix of feel good but also feel really bad music that you can’t help but noticing why there isn’t a soundtrack out. But hey that’s what Spotify is for I suppose!

Previously I haven’t used any kind of rating on my reviews and I thought it high time I did. So I award 50/50 4 out of 5 Chuck Norris’s!

Thank You Chuck Norris. That might be too high in praise though depending on how awesome you think chuck Norris is … Basically I gave it 4 stars out of 5.

Here’s the depressing but great music that I NEARLY cried to: Liars – The Other Side Of Mt Heart Attack

Btw I sometimes hyperlink some of the words in my review to Youtube videos and Imdb so click on them at your own leizuriey.